Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
