I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america