I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Panties = found
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
