Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.