I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is