Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.