Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.