Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
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