why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
