Texts From Last Night

awkwardturlte's Favorites Texts:

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.

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  (334): This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back. http://tfl.nu/st6c
  Replies (35) Good night (14541) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.

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  (256): Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs. http://tfl.nu/y8sy
  Replies (23) Good night (2002) Bad night (4265) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips

  (515): View more from Iowa

  there is no god

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  (515): I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips (515): there is no god http://tfl.nu/6fwr
  Replies (16) Good night (493) Bad night (1996)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii

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  (517): you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii http://tfl.nu/lbrx
  Replies (22) Good night (8621) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style

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  (917): so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style http://tfl.nu/9r5x
  Replies (39) Good night (12059) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.

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  (330): so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv. http://tfl.nu/d9vr
  Replies (60) Good night (1874) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

  (714): View more from California

  he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

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  (714): walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined (714): he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day http://tfl.nu/76ot
  Replies (43) Good night (4305) Bad night (7973)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin

  (253): View more from Washington

  was*

  (509): View more from Washington

  True, R.I.P.

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  (509): Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin (253): was* (509): True, R.I.P. http://tfl.nu/u2pm
  Replies (19) Good night (801) Bad night (2120)
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  (818): View more from California

  And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.

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  (818): And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez. http://tfl.nu/551w
  Replies (4) Good night (3017) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!

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  (214): New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma! http://tfl.nu/1dky
  Replies (67) Good night (1013) Bad night (4025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  The police scanner is talking about you again....

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  (712): The police scanner is talking about you again.... http://tfl.nu/f6sk
  Replies (16) Good night (8121) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

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  (512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"? http://tfl.nu/3j2r
  Replies (31) Good night (16196) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  What?

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just dont open the beer drawer.

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  (352): Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge. (1-352): What? (352): Just dont open the beer drawer. http://tfl.nu/02la
  Replies (16) Good night (1280) Bad night (5372)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"

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  (319): he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you" http://tfl.nu/5pu4
  Replies (18) Good night (4821) Bad night (2149) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka

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  (719): he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka http://tfl.nu/p67g
  Replies (13) Good night (727) Bad night (5433) Order T-Shirt