So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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