Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.