I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.