I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
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and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.