Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Never joke about your clitoris.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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