he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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