Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.