My nipple is on Facebook.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
