Texts From Last Night

CM_Rx's Favorites Texts:

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  (416): View more from Toronto

  No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.

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  (416): No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up. http://tfl.nu/0i7a
  Replies (14) Good night (4328) Bad night (2373) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.

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  (570): Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/1c0i
  Replies (31) Good night (5304) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.

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  (303): Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free. http://tfl.nu/j1zd
  Replies (20) Good night (7976) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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  (816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08
  Replies (52) Good night (10134) Bad night (1210) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode

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  (610): I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode http://tfl.nu/uv7a
  Replies (28) Good night (6836) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

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  (440): You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music http://tfl.nu/f2pv
  Replies (48) Good night (16985) Bad night (1018) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping

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  (540): just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping http://tfl.nu/3wqg
  Replies (18) Good night (4563) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.

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  (517): My own mom unfriended me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/a468
  Replies (68) Good night (3484) Bad night (10987) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

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  (214): A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot. http://tfl.nu/a1lj
  Replies (64) Good night (26335) Bad night (1504) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date

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  (561): I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date http://tfl.nu/ynms
  Replies (29) Good night (13776) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier

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  (410): we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier http://tfl.nu/xjeu
  Replies (6) Good night (7593) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.

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  (574): Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better. http://tfl.nu/c7ty
  Replies (23) Good night (9334) Bad night (1947) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.

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  (660): I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better. http://tfl.nu/xn35
  Replies (45) Good night (4114) Bad night (1067)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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  (704): The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it. http://tfl.nu/e919
  Replies (20) Good night (7354) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.

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  (518): I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire. http://tfl.nu/37qo
  Replies (30) Good night (15016) Bad night (1275) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat

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  (214): I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat http://tfl.nu/a753
  Replies (18) Good night (5016) Bad night (2456) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??

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  (732): Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen?? http://tfl.nu/vnhk
  Replies (14) Good night (4185) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  this is mike. we're done.

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  (917): I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike (1-917): this is mike. we're done. http://tfl.nu/abns
  Replies (21) Good night (445) Bad night (2600) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay

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  (917): I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical. (201): so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay http://tfl.nu/58z1
  Replies (7) Good night (1561) Bad night (347)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv

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  (917): East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv http://tfl.nu/5gj0
  Replies (19) Good night (1001) Bad night (296) Order T-Shirt