I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.