Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dignity is for republicans.
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be