I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
you will always have a special place in my vag