I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
