so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.