so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.