at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
