worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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