Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
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Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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