Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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