I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.