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Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
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