Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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