This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"