Texts From Last Night

Texts from March, 2010

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
  Replies (68) Good night (27469) Bad night (3096) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I in a dog kennel?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  It was for your own safety

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  (803): Why am I in a dog kennel? (1-803): It was for your own safety http://tfl.nu/w7ni
  Replies (27) Good night (12868) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.

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  (949): Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less. http://tfl.nu/ezlm
  Replies (15) Good night (1690) Bad night (3603) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five

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  (260): Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five http://tfl.nu/catf
  Replies (44) Good night (2880) Bad night (7732) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?

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  (508): I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation? http://tfl.nu/jmz5
  Replies (52) Good night (12197) Bad night (2667) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.

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  (513): Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch. http://tfl.nu/dpne
  Replies (24) Good night (14385) Bad night (1450) Order T-Shirt
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  (936): View more from Texas

  You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.

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  (936): You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that. http://tfl.nu/w7w8
  Replies (18) Good night (1958) Bad night (6445) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.

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  (253): For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard. http://tfl.nu/hy6n
  Replies (10) Good night (6463) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"

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  (845): I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!" http://tfl.nu/kl2h
  Replies (38) Good night (19094) Bad night (1346) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried

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  (585): ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried http://tfl.nu/b5zu
  Replies (7) Good night (6527) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas

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  (225): Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas http://tfl.nu/fkrh
  Replies (27) Good night (5962) Bad night (2249) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?

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  (630): Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible? http://tfl.nu/m7m6
  Replies (12) Good night (886) Bad night (3601) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!

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  (716): Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?! http://tfl.nu/vv8e
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  (661): View more from California

  I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.

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  (661): I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is. http://tfl.nu/de6o
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.

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  (989): i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole. http://tfl.nu/0fwa
  Replies (35) Good night (1618) Bad night (6998) Order T-Shirt