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States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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