yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.