I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
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doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
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the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.