Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?