Texts From Last Night

Texts from May, 2012

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?

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  (517): Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night? http://tfl.nu/i8wb
  Replies (1) Good night (853) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again

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  (310): Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again http://tfl.nu/9kfj
  Replies (7) Good night (320) Bad night (1167) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.

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  (440): I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me. http://tfl.nu/i18g
  Replies (8) Good night (291) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL

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  (201): I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL http://tfl.nu/z2bq
  Replies (7) Good night (1392) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...

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  (412): Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation... http://tfl.nu/ehdf
  Replies (4) Good night (1298) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable

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  (810): Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable http://tfl.nu/3me5
  Replies (7) Good night (3015) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.

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  (407): For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it. http://tfl.nu/uopt
  Replies (18) Good night (422) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War

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  (704): If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War http://tfl.nu/ppmx
  Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right

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  (505): At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right http://tfl.nu/tpj0
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.

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  (817): You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman. http://tfl.nu/6t1t
  Replies (10) Good night (2874) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game

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  (781): Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game http://tfl.nu/qq6a
  Replies (3) Good night (335) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week

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  (716): Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week http://tfl.nu/sqfo
  Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it

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  (212): All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it http://tfl.nu/vzev
  Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.

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  (515): I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that. http://tfl.nu/ig7j
  Replies (7) Good night (1315) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.

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  (606): The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire. http://tfl.nu/g319
  Replies (6) Good night (468) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt