Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
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there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
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Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.