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Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
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