I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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