I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
