No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.