It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...