It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
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Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
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She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...