Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer