First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
