Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them