it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.