Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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