I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.