i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like