the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I CAN MOONWALK!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.