Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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