ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.