I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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