It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
