i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
