i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
