I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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