Can i not drive my cunt home
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
