The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
and she was petting her beer can
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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