So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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