I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
