Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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