I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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